Time goes by fast...

I closed my eyes and woke up 6 years later lost and asking myself question after question.
Where was I all these years? I look around and can't find the road nor the light of life.
Lord, where and how has time go by. It passed right by my hands and I never was able
to hang on tight. Come back to me, why don't you come back to me? Have I been so bad
with thee?

To many fucking questions and not even a damn fucking answer. Why are you trying to run
away from me? No matter what nor where you hide. A bigger thing will bond us for the rest of
our lives. At night look up at the sky. Try and find our lucky star, dream and share it with
the heart.

Many years ago I gave it up all for something I never had. This time I'm not going to let go
off it that fast. I'll fight and keep fighting until death does us apart. Dream all you want,
live life up to the fullest but never break up someones heart. Letting go has been the worst
thing I have ever had to go by but he will always be my baby boy.

La vida se acaba despueas del amor... Ahora que es lo que uno se supone que haga luego de tanto tiempo estar con la misma persona. Te abandona por algo que esta fuera de tus manos y se queja que eres la persona mas fria que vive en la fas de la tierra. Pero en realidad tu crees que a mi me importa un carajo lo que ella tenga que decir. Por mi se puede ir a cojer por el culo. Ya basta de que me continue pisoteando cuantas veces le salga del culo a ella. NO NO NO...

Es el primer dia de la semana y voy hacer lo mejor que puedo para poder salir hacia lante con la frente en alto y sin ningun tipo de problema en mi camino. Me da gracias el que esto haya pasado luego de yo mismo decirle a otra persona que estaba a tiempo de no casarse. Pero dime tu, que carajo uno tiene que hacer para que las personas se queden complacidas y no jodan tanto??? Pal carajo, si no te gusta tu sabes cual es la salida de mi corazon e vida.

1. Your name spelled backwards: reivaj

2. Where were your parents born? NY (dad) and Puerto Rico (mom)

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? LimeWire Pro

4. What's your favorite restaurant? Jalisco (Mexican Restaurant)

5. When was the last time you swam in a pool? Summer, I recently went to the beach apartment and tried the pool but it was to cold.

6. Have you ever been in a school play? Yes

7. How many kids do you want? 2 / boy & girl

8. Type of music you dislike most? Punk or Heavy Metal

9. Are you registered to vote? Hell Yeahhh!!!

10. Do you have a car? Yes, 2006 Corolla Type 2 with performance modifications done by me.

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped? No, they suck...

12. Ever prank call anybody? No, I don't waste my time doing shitty things like that.

13. Ever got a parking ticket? No but speeding ticket I get every month.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Both / I've done bungee jumping 2 times. I would have to try sky diving which I'm planning on doing this summer.

15. Furthest place you ever traveled? San Diego, CA

16. Do you have a garden? Yes...

17. What's the size of your bed? King size at home, my mom got tired of it and gave it to me. New matresses and a really nice bed to sleep and fool around if you know what I mean.

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? No, don't really care.

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Shower (morning and at night too) / Bath most of the time at night when I'm really tired and want some time for myself.

20. Best movie you've seen in the past 4 months? The Pianist

21. What's the next movie you want to see? The Notebook

22. Chips or popcorn? Chips (with dip sauce) seeing a movie I would have to go with popcorn.

23. Have you ever broken any hearts? Yes, broke someones heart 6 years ago and I still regret ever doing that.

24. Premarital affairs? Not married and don't will for a long time.

25. Are you a good cook? Yes, my specialty is Shrimp al Ajillo (Puertorican style)

26. Orange or Apple juice? Orange

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with & where did you go to? Sushi bar with my sister last weekend after work.

28. Favorite type of drink? Long Island

29. Best thing in the world? The sweet touch of a female (the person you love) at night right beside your bed.

30. Have you ever broken a bone? Nope

31. Have you ever won a trophy? Lots of them, specailly in baseball & bowling.

32. What is your favorite board game? Don't like board games, I'm more a XBOX freak.

33. What is your dream car? Nissan Skyline or a Toyota Supra

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial? No

35. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Yes, still do and it's sucks.

37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Baby wipes for my puppy.

38. Who are you going to marry? Who the fuck knows, I think only God knows that and you can bet he isn't going to tell me now. Stupid question...

39. Who would you like to meet? The President of the United States

40. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, I believe that when it's ment to be it just happens.

41. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex? Eyes... they just drive me nuts.

42. Where would you go for a romantic evening? To the beach to see the sunset... I live on a tropical island and it never stops amazing how beautiful
it is.
43. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Can't really say, I would have to start couting them at home, in my car, apt... ALOT

44. Last song stuck in your head? You turned my whole world around - Barry White

45. Any pets? 1 Snake / 1 puppy (Gold Retreiver) / 1 Parrot / 1 small ass fish at work (in my desk)

46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? Don't really like SNL

47. What is one thing you would like to learn to do? Get better with my Salsa step / Snowboarding / Skuba Dive

48. What do you do when you are bored? Go to bed or watch a movie.

49. What is one thing you would want someone to appreciate about you? My friendship and feelings

50. What is one thing you are grateful for today? I'm greatfull for my health, family, and specially for giving me the opportunity to be alive one more day.

BLUES are motivated by INTIMACY, seek opportunities

to genuinely connect with others, and need to

be appreciated. They do everything with

quality and are devoted and loyal friends and

employers/employees. Whatever or whomever

they commit to are their sole (and soul)

focus. They love to serve and will give

freely of themselves in order to nurture

others lives.

BLUES, however, do need to be understood. They have

distinct preferences and occasionally the

somewhat controlling (but always fair)

personality of a confident leader. Their code

of ethics is remarkably strong and they

expect others to live honest, committed lives

as well. They enjoy sharing meaningful

moments in conversation as well as

remembering special life events (i.e.,

birthdays and anniversaries). BLUES are

dependable, thoughtful, nurturing, and can

also be self-righteous, a bit worry-prone,

and emotionally intense. They are like

sainted pit-bulls who never let go of

something once they are committed. When you

deal with a BLUE, be sincere, make an effort

to truly understand them, and truly

appreciate them.


What Color Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Despues de 5 a~os y 5 meses hemos tomado caminos diferentes.
Los dias han sido largos y dificiles pero yo espero que Dios me de las fuerzas para seguir hacia lante. Padre, tu sabes que nunca le he sido infiel a Z. Porque se me hace tan dificil olvidar y seguir hacia lante? Muchas personas me dijeron que no la llamara y que esperara a que ella viniera a donde mi. Yo no soy haci, mis sentimientos siempre han sido puros y nunca le haria algo mal a otro ser viviente. Es tiempo que me quede solo y viva la vida un dia a la vez. Me voy, lejos en donde nadie sepa de mi pasado ni quien soy.

Soy un desconosido en esta tierra. Busco la luz del alma y el amor de Dios.
Amor, cual es el significado de la palabra AMOR? Amar es llorar por un ser querido tuyo. Amar es darlo todo acambio de nada? Que es Amar? Yo he querido a muchas personas en esta vida pero por lo visto nunca he amado a nadie. Sera es verdad o solo algo que me dijeron? Si el amor es como pienso yo, he amado con todas las fuerzas de mi corazon. Pero quien sabe, el mundo esta lleno de misterios que ni el ser humano comprende. Solo le pido a Dios que me de la oportunidad de amar a una persona y que esa persona me ame a mi por quien yo soy.

Soy frio como el hielo y oscuro como la noche. Quien soy? Ni yo mismo
se comprendo como soy ni quien soy. Lo unico que he podido aprender es que la vida me ha dado muchas pruebas el cual no he podido superar. Mi corazon partido no llora, quien llora es el alma mia. Lloro porque he perdido a quien. Una persona que me trato de ense~ar a ver la vida atravez de sus ojos. Nunca logre hacerlo pero si pude ver un poco de la alegria que ella llevaba por dentro. Vere eso alguna vez o sera la ultima vez? Solo quiero que sepas que te doy las gracias por haberme amado porquien yo soy.

Fuistes mis ojos cuando no pude ver y mis oidos cuando no pude escuchar. Me ayudastes mucho y al mismo tiempo me destruistes. Solo espero que si algun dia o en otra vida nos conosemos nuevamente. No nos pase como paso en esta ocacion. Vivir es lo mas bello que uno podria hacer. Yo no he vivido, solo me estoy muriendo de dolor. Me entrege sin ninguna condicion, dispuse del pecado si tu me lo decias pero eso fue hasta hoy. Nos vemos cuando nos veamos...

1. Perder 50 Libras antes de Junio
2. Fiel al GYM
3. Conseguirme otro trabajo que no tenga que ver con CSR
4. Ser mas comprensibo con aquellos que no lo son conmigo.
5. Buscar la PAZ interior que tanto necesito.
6. Olvidar el pasado (J, Y, Z...) todo y todas que no son importante ni tienen lugar en mi corazon.
7. Pensar mas en mi persona antes de pensar en los demas.
8. Salir mas a las discotecas con mis amistades y pasar menos tiempo en el apartamento.
9. NO BUSCAR NOVIA Y SOLO JODER TODO LO QUE SE PONGA EN EL CAMINO MIO.
10. Javier es primero, segundo, y tercero luego van los demas.

EL 2006 ES PARA JAVIER :)

So far I've had a really nice time back in town (Maryland). Specially to my true friend Candice who has been the best friend ever since I got here. She picked my up friday night at the airport. It was cold, I was tired and to make things worse my luggage never made it to DC. I felt like crying but sucked it up and tried no to think about that. So far I've had a plast, I went out to a karioky party at Mickey's crib with Candice. At first is was weird but I had a great time just chilling and hearing other people sing. Candice and I sang a song (Summer love or something like that) and then I sang I swear. Only two songs for me but I still had a great time. Candice if you read this, for the tenth time I want to thank you for everything you have done.

Today my grandmother and I went out shopping or at least we tried. It wasn't a good idea, rainy day and not a nice day to be out but we did our best and still had a nice time shopping and talking about life. We decided to come back to the house and chill out. Had a quick lunch and then saw a movie (Kingdom of Heaven). Good movie and if my grandmother loved it then I'm happy. Right now it's 1:37 AM and for some fucked up reason I'm kinda home sick. I was talking to my sister and I realized how hard it can be when you leave and think about the love once you have back home. O well, this always happens to me but I get used to it pretty soon. Tomorrow I'm gonna try and call a couple of other friends to see if I can get together with them. So far I've only been able to talk and chill with Candice. I don't really care if I talk to anyone else because the truth about it is that she is the only one that has been in touch with me after all these years. Lets see what happens, I'll update more tomorrow.

*** sorry 4 my writing and English, it's late and I don't feel like thinking to much ***

Muerto o perdido? Regreso de la muerte y vivo otra vez perdido en la oscuridad. Ni me acuerdo de la ultima vez que tome un poco de mi tiempo para poder sacar toda la tristeza que llevo por dentro. Mucho ha pasado y el tiempo se ha hido mas rapido cada dia. Veremos a ver si esta ocacion me quedo conectado al mundo cibernetico y no me pierdo yo mismo.

Para hacer un cuento corto, la difunta YY regreso a mi vida y hoy le pedi un espacio en nuestra amistad. No se si lo tomo bien o mal pero por lo visto no fue muy bien que digamos. La verdad que fue lo mejor que pude hacer, no quiero que se vaya a confundir. Pal carajo, lo hecho ya esta hecho y lo que quiero es enfocarme en el futuro. No se ni que carajo escribir ahora mismo pero si quiero que sepas que esto no se acaba aqui.

Cont...

Things come and go but true love is forever. Time brought you to me. Time made us be. Time gave us love. Time made us cry. Time made you leave. And I have faith that time will bring you back to me...

Your dating personality profile: Shy - You are often timid around others, though you will open up when the right person comes along. Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life. Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.

Your date match profile: Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life. Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps her body in top shape.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Shy 2. Adventurous 3. Athletic 4. Liberal 5. Sensual 6. Religious 7. Big-Hearted 8. Romantic 9. Practical 10. Wealthy/Ambitious

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Practical 2. Religious 3. Athletic 4. Conservative 5. Outgoing 6. Sensual 7. Adventurous 8. Big-Hearted 9. Traditional 10. Romantic

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

UCAUTION

IN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP JRMURIELC AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.

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From Go-Quiz.com

Querida Madre de mi corazon,

Madre, como estas? Espero que te encuentres mucho mejor ahora que me he hido de tu lado. Perdoname por todo el dolor que he ocacionado a tu persona y corazon. Muchas veces pense en escribirte algunas palabras pero no encuentro el valor moral de hacerlo. Por tal razon he tomado el atrevimiento de expresar lo que siento en mi LJ. Yo se que debes estar llorando lagrimas de sangre pero no llores porque aunque tu no lo creas estoy buscando mi PAZ y tranquilidad ahora. Mi corazon y alma han llorado por mucho tiempo. Es tiempo de vivir y buscarse uno mismo dentro de este mundo que esta apunto de destruirse entre el uno y el otro. Lo unico que siempre le pedi a Dios era tu felicidad. Te debes estar preguntando "si Jorge es mi felicidad porque no lo aceptas?" Te pido que me entiendas, el abuzo y la tortura que vivi por tanto tiempo me ha hecho dudar de la credibilidad del ser humano.

Tu no me entiendes ahora pero tarde o temprano veras el lado oscuro de esa persona. Por mucho tiempo me tirastes a mi (TU HIJO) para poder defender a esa persona. OK, lo hecho hecho esta pero no creas que uno perdona o olvida de la noche a la ma~ana. Me lo distes todo por mucho tiempo y ahora es mi oportunidad de darte algo acambio. Te doy el espacio y la paz para que puedas comenzar a reasir tu vida. Se que estas leyendo estoy y muchas cosas te deben estar pasando por la mente. Trata de pensar en los momentos bellos que pasamos juntos. Llega un tiempo en la vida que uno tiene que buscar su propio camino de la vida. Yo estoy en busca de ese camino tan perdido en mi vida. La ultima vez que mire tus ojos me perdi en el tierno amor de tu corazon. Siempre podre ahora cerrar mis ojos y perderme en esa memoria. Yo soy tu voz en las noches oscuras que te susurra en el oido y te dice "MADRE, TE AMO". Mi amor nunca morira y siempre lo llevare dentro de mi. Acuerdate que nunca me he hido de tu lado. Solo di tres pasos hacia tras, acuerdate que siempre estara aqui mientas me abraces en tus sue~os y corazon.



Aqui podras ver que es lo mas que yo anelo en la vida. Poder ver esa luz al final del camino. Tu mas que nadie sabes lo mucho que eso significa para mi. Voy hacer todo lo posible por llegar a la luz. Poder mirar hacia el cielo y decir "Graciaz padre mio por haverme dado las fuerzas para llegar tan lejos en la vida." Pero nuevamente quiero que sepas que a tu hijo no lo has perdido. Solo estoy viajando en las tinieblas de la vida y la oscuridad. En busqueda de un PORQUE. Porque estoy aqui y cual es mi lugar? Mira al cielo en las noches y me veras, cierra tu ojos y sentirar el dulce calor de mi corazon, sonriele a la vida y veras a tu hijo. No me olvides que pronto me veras llegar en un tierno aterdecer. Te amo y nunca lo dejare de hacer. Adios...

Te amo
tu hijo x siempre,

Javi

Our relationship is like a roller coaster... there is going to be many Up's and Down's, Twists and Turns, but in the end..we'll make it.

For the last month I've been doing lots of thinking around the island. Why am I here and why I came back when I had everything I dreamed off for so many years? I've been getting lost on my pictures and this is how I see my life theses days. Dark, lost in time, searching for the beauty in life... Is there a person for everyone of us out there? I think there is and I found it once. Lost it and still dream about it. I've gather several pictures to express the way I feel in life.


Rio Grande, PR


Mother & Son walking at the beach


Palm Tree / Esperanza Beach / Vieques, Puerto Rico

En la vida todo cambia para el bien y hay ocasiones para el mal. No tomes la vida como juego, se vive una sola vez.

Our relationship is like a roller coaster... there is going to be many Up's and Down's, Twists and Turns, but in the end..we'll make it.

Hoy al fin me di cuenta que no importa lo que haga siempre voy hacer la persona mala del grupo. Pero a quien carajo le importa? Porque la verdad a mi no y me tiene sin cuidado lo que los demas piensen. Me encontre a mi ex novia en la playa hoy. Pasamos la tarde juntos y me dijo cosas del pasado que yo habia podido superar en aquel momento. A la verdad que la cabrona es mas puta y tiene mas millas que un maldito cochesito. No entiendo a las mujeres. Hay alquien ahi que me pueda explicar porque son tan dificiles y tan impredesibles??? Bueno, por lo menos se que no voy a volver hablar con ella. Soy muy cincero y para hacerla sentir como puta mejor me retirro dos pasos hacia tras y dejo que ella misma aprenda de los cantasos de la vida. Una persona menos en mi vida, persona que decia que era mi amiga pero la verdad es que no lo era.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DELMARIE

La soledad se apodera de mi vida. Tiempos tristez ahora que todos se van de mi lado y me quedo solo y desamparado. Momentos como estos es cuando tu en verdad sabes quien es tu amigo(a) para el resto de tu vida. No voy a pensar mucho en eso porque la verdad es que yo se quienes son. Mirada y vida en marcha, que sea la voluntad del ser supremo.

I know why you were brought to me. An awakening is coming.
Are you're ready for it? If you persist in playing with this fire,
it will burn you to your very core. Revealing who you really are.
Everything that is not real will fall away from you And you
will be left with only your-Self. To be reborn anew, you must be willing to die.
Only to rise again in glory from the depths of your own ashes.
Not many have the valor to walk through the valley of their own shadows.
You are not who you think you are and that's what frightens you
because deep down in your soul you know something is missing.
You know I'm right. That something is why you came to me, but it's
not what you think, it's a mystery. Ask your-Self to know and it will show you.



Boqueron, Puerto Rico